Good Mother

Happy Mother’s Day!

Jann Arden has a great song called “Good Mother”. It’s universally loved by many, me included. I think it will get some streams today as it should.

The second Sunday in May always brings out a lot of love and gratitude for the most important women in our lives. Where would be without them?

The Mother/Child relationship is complicated, no? It begins as a microscopic cell that starts multiplying the moment it was fertilized. It continues through gestation delivering nausea, mood swings, weight gain, body transformation, stretch marks and finally, the miraculous physiological event known as delivery. My goodness, seeing a child being born, is something else. That alone is worthy of all our admiration and respect for women.

The first 9 months are the easy months.

It then turns into a period of being 100% responsible for another human being’s survival. No pressure. The inconveniences of zombie like sleeplessness, runny noses, diapers, play pens, cribs, safety fences, teething, car seats, messy houses, worry, anxiety and self-doubt are thankfully reprieved by moments of great joy, smiles, wonder and pride of accomplishment if only briefly, you believe, “I can do this”!

Seeing your child sleeping safely and comfortably and soundly is one of the most peaceful moments we can have and makes all the newborn and toddler drama worthwhile. Perhaps?

When the Mother child relationship develops into the teen years, it makes one long for those “easy” first few years. This child has now become “mature” and is an adult but the pressure is not off, in fact it’s back on the Mother because you now get judged on how well you did in the formative years. What values have you instilled into your children? Are they fundamentally good people and will they be positive contributors to society? Did they go to bed every night knowing they were loved, even if they misbehaved or talked back or even said some not so nice things to you?

Mothers love their children unconditionally, no matter how old they are and although it’s joked about in some circles, they do not hold grudges for the challenging days when they were growing up.

As a child, we had little ability to participate in a relationship with our Mom’s beyond caregiver, but as adults, we have full responsibility to make sure we do everything we can to remind our Mother’s how much we appreciate what they’ve done for us to get us here today.

Certainly not all families are the Cleavers, far from it thank goodness. Some have difficult dynamics with their Mom’s. And the reasons for that are as vast and complicated as imagined. Some Mother’s chose not to keep their children and gave them up for adoption. Some Mother’s raised their children alone. Some Mother’s have had their own problems that made parenthood challenging and has left the modern relationship unsteady and in need of repair.

Life isn’t so simple.

But one day a year at least, remember and acknowledge your Mom for the life she gave you. Do all you can to keep a healthy and loving and respectful relationship with her, forgive her, celebrate her, keep her in your heart if she has passed and if you are a Mother, continue to be the good Mother you’ve always tried to be.

I need to work on showing my Mom all she means to mean. I’ve never questioned our relationship or how I feel, but haven’t been the best correspondent. She did a great job raising me and my siblings! Thanks Mom!

My wife is an amazing Mother and now Grand Mother. I’m so proud of all she has done to raise our sons. Perfection? Nope…….but it’s not about being perfect, it’s about always striving to do the right thing and she does.

Happy Mother’s Day!


My condolences

I seem to offer that sentiment a lot on social media. I’ve done it at least a dozen times in 2018. My friends and colleagues are losing friends and loved ones. They are memorializing, mourning and sharing their emotions on Facebook and Instagram.

Isn’t that wonderful?

Not that people have passed, but that we can express our feelings into cyberspace and have them on record for history. Make it good and speak from the heart.

In a time when the social media giants are getting grilled for playing fast and loose with our privacy, we need to remind ourselves that the original intention was to express thoughts to our community. There are times when I question the value of sharing on-line, and indeed, there are some musings we could all do without seeing, but I for one, feel included when I’m reading about a lost loved one. How nice of you to share. My condolences.

Why do bad things happen?

I like you, have been feeling quite helpless in the wake of the Humboldt Broncos bus accident and then the Van attack in Toronto. I think what makes these 2 incidents so relatable and frightening is that we all could have been involved in either one. Who hasn’t been on a bus? Who hasn’t walked down the street? It was the randomness of these senseless tragedies. Although they are different events, the outcomes are the same. Terrible loss of life and multiple injuries. But we can feel sorrow and compassion to the victim’s families and friends and reach out even in a small way to say we are thinking of them. It’s never too late either. It doesn’t seem that would make a difference, but it does. My condolences.

Did you know……..

  • I was reminded this week again how lucky I am for what I do for a living and for the people I work with.
  • I read a job application recently with a cover letter addressed “to whom it may concern”. They also applied for a different position than the one open, didn’t have any experience or interest it appeared and had a salary expectation of $200-$240k.
  • It’s healthy to write a note when you are angry. But do not send it until the next day, or ever. Get it out, puke on paper……’ll feel better just writing it. Beware the send button.
  • My lease is up soon and I need to decide whether to buy it out, or return. The necessary $1400.00 brake job may influence.
  • Fleetwood Mac is on tour. They’ll be in Ottawa November 3rd……I saw them in 1980 and broke up with Dawn right after the show………so she’s says. I have no memory of the break up…..but remember the show… was terrific.
  • I have my Snow tires changed over, pool open, lawn aerated and fertilized and the Hosta is up………. temps in the 20’s…..let’s do this!
  • I was in Toronto this past week for Music Week. More to come on that in future blogs.
  • It appears the Jets are for real. Nice!!!!!
  • I’m off to Moncton next week. Can’t wait.

Thanks for reading….



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